just needed some motivation

I used to be very shy sexually, I grew up in a home where sex was never talked about and the group of girls I went around with were extremely religious, all of us were virgins when we got married. I had never touch myself except to wash. Pleasuring myself seemed gross, my husband did everything he could to get me to open up sexually. We had good sex, but after 4 years I still hadn’t had an orgasm, I didn’t really want too, at least that is what I thought. He divorced me, not because he was cheating and definitely not because I was, he just said he was sick of feeling like he sucked at sex and that he wanted me to find someone that could please me. I knew he meant that he wanted someone more fun. I wished he had cheated then I could hate him and blame him, but since this was completely my fault I could only be mad at myself. After a short period of self hate, I decided that I was going to prove him wrong and make him hate his decision to leave me. My plan was simple, get a super hot guy or guys and send the video of us fucking to him. I thought it was the perfect plan except the sex part. I decided that I had to learn too cum, not an easy task for my 26 year old self. I don’t drink much, but the best sex I ever had was when I was really drunk. I started by getting a pack of flavored vodka, my rabbit vibrator (which my ex had bought me hoping I would use it, which I never had), and a handful of porn I rented from this adult video vending machine, I could never had been able to walk into a video store to get it. I had only seen about ten second of porn before, at the time it grossed me out, but as I sorted threw the list of movies I begun to get a tingle between my legs. The thought of my ex seeing me watching the porn really made me horny. As I left the machine I noticed a creepy guy staring at me, it really turned me on. Knowing that my body could make a man stare was exillirating. I never thought about myself as sexy. I am on the skinny side but far from perfect, I have average sized breast, but I have always thought my ass was the best part of me. I tried to wiggle it a little as I pasted the guy so he would turn and watch me. I turned to see if my bait had worked and he grabbed himself, I couldn’t believe that he did that right out in the open and that it really made me hot. The tingle turned into heat and I could feel my lips sliding together with the increasing lubrication as I walked to the car. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this way. I started drinking as soon as I got home, I turned the lights down and got out my favorite candles. I picked the first dvd, “Milfs teach young studs”. The cheesy title made me laugh as I had already started feeling buzzed. After about 30 minutes of watching old ladies getting pounded, I was tipsy and horny. It was awkward at first to see so many different naked bodies, but as I relaxed it really started to make me hot. I decided to get changed into something that would make me feel sexy. I went to the bottom drawer and got out my favorite panties and the bra that made my girls squeeze together. I put the next dvd in. It was girls playing with themselves, I wanted to learn from the best. As I watched the first girl slowly strip and begin to toucher her tiny breast I did the same I took the bra off and played with my tits. I sucked on my finger and then gently rubbed the tips of my hard nipples. I pulled my breast up so that I could lick them, it was bit uncomfortable but I managed to get the nipples in my mouth. Wow I loved getting them sucked, I longed to be able to just lay back and enjoy it. I grabbed the vodka and poured a little on my firm breasts, the cold liquid made me shiver and my nipples grew even bigger. I licked as much as I could off my tits and rubbed the rest down my stomach. Even after the millions of crunches my stomach wasn’t as flat as I wished but rubbing it softly made me appreciate it. The girl on the tv had sat down and spread her legs wide and was playing with her lips, softly rubbing them together using her palm to message her clean shaven mound. As the camera zoomed in on her fingers I couldn’t believe how hot her pussy was, I couldn’t even look at my own and here I was staring at a wet swollen cunt and getting so hot for it. I decided to leave my panties on, still a little nervous. I watched as the girl licked her fingers tasting herself, my ex had always loved eating my pussy and said that I tasted great. I started to rub my box softly threw my panties, they were already soaked threw near my hole. I rubbed the wetness and pushed in between my lips. As I rolled my finger around my cunt I watched my instructor slide her fingers into herself, she was moaning louder and the sound made me rub harder. Again she licked her fingers, I wanted to taste my cream, I brought my finger to my nose and smelled the strong scent, in reminded me of my ex’s face after he licked me. I put one finger on my tongue, it was much sweeter then it smelled, it actually tasted good, as I sucked both fingers savoring my taste for the first time I felt a slight pulsation in my pussy. The dvd switched to another girl after the first had a screaming orgasm. The new girl was already naked and I fast forwarded to her fingering her clit as she sank two fingers into her pink hole. I removed my panties as I watched her grind into her own hand. Her face showed just how good it felt, I licked my fingers again and slowly moved from my nipples down each side on my stomach until my hands met at the top of my slit. I paused nervous to feel the soft folds of my wet lips for the first time. I slowly put one finger right on my clit, a wave of pleasure shot threw my body and I gasped for air, I slid my finger down my pink path until it was over my hole I moved it around the rim of my tight opening. I was so horny I didn’t care about anything but the pleasure I was feeling. I put a finger from my other hand on my clit as I slid a finger into my wanting pussy I rubbed my hardening bean. I moaned loud as I pushed my finger past the tight opening. I rubbed my clit faster as I pulled my finger out and sucked the slippery wetness off, the taste was so rich, sweet, and amazing. I pushed my finger back in just to recoat it with my cream and then suck it off. I noticed the girl on the tv had a dildo out and was rubbing it against her cunt softly moaning as the vibrations teased her clit. My heart was racing and i was beginning to sweat. I watched as she slid the fake penis into her hole and begun to fuck herself faster and faster. I matched her pace with my fingers rubbing the ruff skin just inside my hole. I switched hands whenever the taste wore off the one I was sucking. I had never let myself get lost in pleasure like this, nothing mattered, nothing was gross or scarey, it just felt amazing! I was moaning louder then the girl on the tv, but as she came her screams could be heard. My wrist hurt and I still hadn’t cum yet. I changed to the third dvd, which had a picture of two guys holding a small girl barely 18, “finally 18 and ready to spread.” I had little interest in the girl when I had gotten the dvd, but now I was noticing her sexy curves and big firm breast. The guys had caught my attention, when I rented it. Both were tanned and ripped. Muscles just big enough to give them a perfect shape. I drooled over their chest and couldn’t wait to see their cocks. I pictured them playing with each other as I finished another drink. I warmed up the lube and got Mr.Rabbit out for some fun, I wanted nothing more then to get back too were I had left off. As the pair of perfect men started kissing the sexy slut the warmth quickly returned to my pussy. I skipped a head a little till everyone was naked and touching each other. Even the guys were rubbing each other chest and kissing as they all shared each other aroused bodies. I would sometimes think about sharing a man with my ex, I never would have suggested it, but I would dream. The girl kneeled down between the two studs and took each of their semi hard penises in her hands, as she rubbed the soft skin the two men were softly rubbing each othe
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pecks. Almost with out knowing I was already finger my hole and sucking the juice off my fingers again, damn I did taste good. I watched more closely as the two men begun exploring each other mouths. Two men kissing was the hottest thing I had ever seen, I rub myself as hard and fast as I could. Sweat made my naked body glisten, I could feel a pressure building, a feeling like I had to pee. the camera switched to the girl sucking the now straight hard pair of penises, she skillfully pleasuring two men sucking, rubbing, and cupping balls. Spite slid down her chin and dripped onto her perfect set of tits. I wanted to squish those titties into my face as I sucked her pink nipples. The huge to pee grew so I went to the bathroom, I rubbed myself the whole way as is stumbled to the toilet. I didn’t stop rubbing my clit as I release my piss, it felt so good I wondered if that was it, the big bang? The pee was warm and clear, I rubbed my lips as it came out splashing all over my hands and legs. Never had i thought pee would be so arousing. I washed up a little and looked at myself in the mirror, the buzz was just beginning to wear off a little. I almost panicked as I realized what I was doing and how easy it was to just jump in and do so much, but then I pictured the look on my ex’s face and decided to get another drink. The movie had been playing and as I downed another bottle, the three people were all tangled in a sweaty mess. The camera switched angles to show a close up of a penis entering as dripping wet cunt, I turned up the volume to hear the moans and sounds of flesh slapping together. The girl was taking it in the pussy and face while kneeling on all fours, the guys alternated their thrust and I finger fucked myself and started to suck my vibrator. I wanted to that girl, I wanted to taste those men. Suck them and let them fuck me until I came, never had I been so turned on. I watched as they changed position, they sandwiched her. One slowly entered pussy as they passionately kissed and the other rubbed a bit of lube on her ass, I couldn’t wait, I lubed my rabbit and slowly pushed it into myself. It stretched my hole and my whole body felt an amazing sensation that made me quiver. I pulled it out and then rammed it hard back into my wanting body. I turned it to high and begun to fuck myself as fast as I could trying to keep the rabbit ears against my swollen exposed clit. I was moaning and pushing my hips on to the rubbery replica, I watched the girl getting ass and pussy fucked, the guys kisses across her shoulders as she moaned with her eyes closed. I was practically screaming as my body got filled with intense feelings of pleasure, the pressure built faster this time, but I knew I didn’t need to pee, I closed my eyes and listened to the screams on the tv. I couldn’t take it, I finally gave into the feelings and became completely focused on how the fake dick touched the sides of my pussy and how the head would stretched me even more as it popped out and went back in. I could not hear the tv anymore and didn’t care what they were doing. I felt like I would explode from the pleasure building in me, not just between my legs but everywhere, I grabbed my tits and lost control of myself. It started with a flood of heat pounding at my cunt, my leg muscles twitched and flexed, then my whole body shook a little as the pressure flowed out of every part of me, all coming out my convulsing pussy. The dildo was forced out of me by the contractions of my orgasm, a clear liquid squirted out just as the dildo left my hole. My heart raced and I could hardly breath, my mind was a twist of emotion and feelings. I never wanted to leave the perfect state of complete satisfaction and happiness that I was in, but it slowly faded. I just laid there as my body drifted down from my intense high. The float down was amazing in itself, I was in a place never before imagined. I tried to keep that feeling, but it was like someone had given me the most perfect drug but then took it back leaving me exhausted but amazingly happy. As I came back to reality the movie had ended and it was almost completely dark, now I knew what I was missing and couldn’t wait to feel it again. I feel asleep on the couch, naked and sticky.