The Kinky Adventures of Jumpy Janice

Chapter 7
‘Almost Killed in the Woods’

We were almost killed. A few days later now, we got a message on Lucy’s phone, after getting a little reception, from her friend, Lucinda, in Anchorage. The message said that Rex had gotten out of jail and, although he wasn’t supposed to leave anchorage, he had, and was flying down to try and find us. She said he’s very pissed about the truck and the cash we’d stolen. She told us that one of his friends said that he’d called a bunch of truck stops and restaurants on the Alaskan highway and had figured our approximate whereabouts. I guess the people at the truck stop where we beat up Jason and Karen talked to him and he’d told them that we’d stolen his truck and they told him about Jason and Karen. Word has spread up and down the Alaskan highway that Jason and Karen are looking for us, as are the cops. Not good.

We knew we had to ditch Rex’s truck, but we hadn’t yet, when we pulled into a Wilderness restaurant and rest stop.

Rex supposedly wanted to get the police in on it, but he wasn’t supposed to be anywhere but Anchorage, so had to take matters into his own hands. It turns out that Rex isn’t his real name either. Lucy’s friend said that he had another name, and that he was in big trouble as he’d pulled some robberies years before when he lived in Oregon, and then got a fake ID and went to work for the oil companies as a Roughneck.

So, we walked into the restaurant and there was Rex sitting in a booth. We turned around and walked out, but he caught up to us outside and put a gun in my face and ordered us into his truck, making me drive with the gun still pointed to my head. Lucy had Jason’s gun, but was afraid to pull it out. We tried apologizing, telling him whatever we could dream up, so he might feel sorry for us. We told him that some guy was trying to kill us up in Anchorage so we had to escape but he wasn’t buying it, and made me keep driving till we got to this dirt road that he told me to turn onto.

We drove about a mile into the woods before hitting a dead end at which point he ordered us out at gunpoint. Then he started asking more questions about the money and stuff and then tied us all up and told us to say our prayers, so we figured we were dead for sure. He aimed the gun at me first then switched to Gabriel and she started crying. He stood there, it seemed for an eternity, all of us crying, but he didn’t have the balls to pull the trigger. He did make The Kid, still tied up, blow him for a while.

As The Kid continued, and Rex seemed to be nearing a climax, while looking the other way, Gabriel whispers to me that she’d gotten free from her ropes. Gabriel then grabbed a rock and snuck up behind him. Rex was nearing a climax now, and just as he did, Gabriel smashed the rock against his head and he fell down, looking as if he were dead, with blood coming from his head. Then she untied Lucy, The Kid, and I, and we used the rope to tie Rex to a tree, still breathing it turns out.

In a few minutes Rex had regained consciousness, and sat there tied up, watching us drink beers, and taking our stuff, and the money, from the truck. We’d taken his gun too. I told Rex that we’d call someone and let them know where he was after we’d put some distance between us. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t let him die there even know The Kid was for it. The Kid pissed on his head before leaving, as Rex swore at him like a mad man. The Kid said it would fight any infection to his bleeding head, and we all laughed. We were thinking that Rex hadn’t gone to the cops, as they wanted him too, so we might be safe taking the truck. After further thought, we figured he’d possibly reported it stolen and that Jason and Karen ‘had’ certainly called the cops, so we left the truck with Rex, who was now yelling about how he was going to kill us. We took the truck’s distributor cap with us and threw it into some brush after we walked toward the main road a while. When we got back to the road and figured we’d hitch a ride.

There was very little traffic so we ended up waiting and waiting for what seemed like forever. After about an hour or so, this big trucker pulled up and offered us a ride. We all climbed into his big tractor-trailer cab that had a nice sleeper. We gave him fake names and told him we were locals going on vacation. We stayed with him for a day and, at one point, even passed Jason and Karen’s semi destroyed motor home in a truck stop where we’d stopped for fuel. We looked out, as we hid in the back of the truck so they wouldn’t spot us, and were kind of amazed that it was still drivable.

We left the trucker tonight, and checked into a hotel, where we are now. Lucy had called her friend Lucinda in anchorage yesterday and told her to tell the cops where to find Rex in the woods. He’ll be in big trouble and will surely go back to jail for leaving anchorage. They will think his reporting his truck stolen was a nice lie, since he’ll be with his truck. We’re all taking showers now, and will head downstairs, in a few minutes, to get a big dinner. We met a guy earlier tonight here at the hotel. He said he’s taking his big boat, in Seattle, across to Hawaii and then to the orient and offered to take us with him. Gabriel’s thinking about Brazil, and The Kid and Lucy are thinking of going with him. Me, I just want to go somewhere. I love the excitement. I get off on it. I’m addicted to danger and adventure, what can I say.

Chapter 8
‘On the Freight Train’

So much has happened in the last week. Our spy up in Anchorage, Lucinda, is doing a great job of keeping us informed. She calls Lucy with all the news that she gets from Rex’s friend in Anchorage who talks to Rex on his cell phone. We talked to her last night and heard nothing but bad news. Apparently Rex freed himself before the cops could find him, tied up where we left him, but they know that he’s left Anchorage so he’s still in trouble. They did find his disabled truck in the woods because Lucy’d told her friend to tell them exactly where it was. I guess we didn’t tie him up all that well. We’ll have to do a better job next time. Anyway, Rex must be on foot, hitchhiking just like we are. Lucinda said that some bikers had picked him up and befriended him, letting him ride on the back of one of the women’s bikes. She said she’d heard her name was Fat Jody, supposedly a real big momma, who used to be a trucker, but she slept with him so he liked her. She said he’d satisfied her, like her ex-hubby never had. Then Rex supposedly ripped Fat Jody off while she was sleeping one night, taking her money, a Bowie knife and a .45. So now he has a gun again, although we have the 38 he used on us, and Jason’s 9mm too. Lucinda told us that she’d heard that the bikers were after him, and said that he was as good as dead. Anyway, she said he’d been asking everyone he ran into if they’d seen us, so we’re lying low.

We left the hotel late last week, and have been hitchhiking with all our stuff. Gabriel carries the 9mm, and I have the .38, so if someone tries to rip us, we have a chance of kicking their ass. We hear reports that Rex has been around asking questions about ‘three girls and a guy’, so we’re really not sure what to do right now. Everywhere we go, we ask people if a very tall guy has been asking about us, and everyone’s said that they’ve seen this guy, but don’t know which way he went. Maybe we should have just wasted him in the woods. One guy, in this restaurant we were in, said that some bikers were looking for the ‘tall guy’, they called Rex, so we know that Lucinda’s story was pretty right on. We even got a ride, a few days ago, with these crazies, and they said they’d actually given him a ride earlier in the day, dropping him at the Otter’s Nest restaurant just north of us. We’ve even considered breaking up, but because we only have one cell phone, we haven’t.

This guy, Fabbo, has picked us up in hi
s van. Fabbo’s like 6’6″ and looks famished. He’s got a pockmarked face
and keeps touching himself and kind of mumbles crazy things like “That’s some pretty pussy. Pretty pussy for Fabbo.”

We’re headed south now. We’ve been smoking all of Fabbo’s ganja, and the music is loud. I’ve got my laptop on, and typing this in the back of Fabbo’s van. It’s late, and we are falling asleep.

We rode in Fabbo’s van all night, and he let us out at a railroad yard that he lived near, early this morning. A railroad worker told us that there is a freight train leaving the yard, headed east later today. He also said that a very tall guy that fit Rex’s description was here asking questions about three girls and a guy he was looking for. They said he was asking everyone he saw, and they described him for the most part, as a mad man, on a mission from God.

A biker gang, The Timber Wolves, came riding through too, but we didn’t talk to them, as we’re trying to stay out of sight. Later, one of the railroad workers said that the bikers were asking about some tall guy that looked like Rex. Said they’d some business to settle, and that they’d pay money for information. Said they seemed real pissed. We’re re-charging my laptop, and Lucy’s phone, inside this building we’re hiding in. The freight train pulls out at 3:30 this afternoon, so we’re going to jump on, down by a bridge that this old hobo told us about. Said it’s easy to get on there, even for an old guy like him, and not much chance of anyone seeing you, as there’s a good hiding place, between two old shacks. Said the train has to go slow, as there’s a sharp curve there.

On the train now headed east. We were hiding at the old shacks by the bridge, just before 3:30. We’d heard more reports of this tall guy; we’re sure is Rex, asking more questions. A couple guys said it sounded like he knew that we were here somewhere. They told us that the biker gang was nearby too, and they were asking more questions too. The big diesel engines let out a bunch of smoke and started coming toward us. In a few moments they were here shaking the ground, rumbling by, so we hid behind the shacks, like the old guy told us to, till the engines has passed. Some boxcars were coming up, with open doors. The old guy said that there’d be a few with open doors if we were lucky. As soon as they got close we started running, threw our stuff inside, and jumped in. We had to pull Lucy in as she was having a hard time, and I could tell she was scared. I’d never done this before, so it was pretty exciting. The Kid, who was the last one to jump on, said he thought he saw someone, that looked like Rex, jump on way back at the end of the train, but he wasn’t sure.

We’d been traveling about a half hour, and it was getting dark, and we were paralleling the highway at one point, when we saw the biker gang riding next to us. The Kid stuck his head out, and said that one guy on the back of a chopper was trying to jump on the train, but he couldn’t tell if he’d made it.

It’s late now, as I type this. Lucy and The Kid are having sex, and Gabriel and I are huddled together in our sleeping bags, as it’s pretty cold. We have some snacks, a bottle of whiskey we’d stolen from Jason’s motor home, and some soda, but I don’t know how long it’ll last. The sound of the train is making me sleepy, so I’m putting the laptop away now, and we’ll try to get a little sleep. We thought we heard footsteps on the roof of our boxcar.