I Have Sinned…
I’m laying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. My bible is laying on my chest, open to the passage in Corinthians that I love. I can’t wait to be in love, I’ve been saving every bit of myself for the husband God has chosen for me. Father says that is how God intended it. He waited for my mother and she waited for him, and now that she’s gone he won’t look for love again. “God let me have her for a little while,” he always says, “and that was a blessed time.”
I hear a knock on the front door and I can hear father get up from his chair in the study to go answer it. It’s a man’s voice, it sounds serious. I sit up and strain to hear better, father sounds upset. I get up and walk quietly to my door and open it so I can hear what they’re saying. It’s a man from the bank, he says father owes a lot of money. Mortgage payments.
“I’m sorry Reverend, I understand you’re having financial problems, but I’m just doing my job. We’ve given you all the time we can, we have to take the house. You have 24 hours to gather your belongings and leave the premises.”
Father walks slowly back to his study, I hear the door slam. He’s never angry. I know how much this house means to him, it’s all he has left of my mother. I hear the front door open as the man turns to leave. I hesitate for just a moment before I make my decision. “Wait!” I call out as I run down the steps. I follow the man out the front door until he finally turns around.
“I’m sorry darling, there isn’t anything I can do to save your house.”
“Please,” I beg him, “there must be something. I don’t have a job but I can work, I can cook , I can clean, please! I’ll do anything!” I have tears running down my cheeks and I can see his eyes change and his face softens.
“You want to help your father?” He asks softly.
“Yes,” I tell him, “Yes, I’ll do anything.”
“Come with me.” He takes my hand and turns to go back in to the house. He walks in the door and right up the stairs. He points to my open bedroom door, “This your room?” he asks. I nod and he leads me inside and closes the door behind him. Suddenly everything changes. He releases my hand and pushes me up against the wall. He has his forearm across my chest and one hand over my mouth. “You want to help your father?” he asks me again, a mad look in his eyes, “you do exactly what I tell you.” He unbuttons his pants and walks over to my bed and sits down. He beckons me over and I walk slowly until I’m standing directly in front of him. “Kneel.” He commands. I kneel down on the ground in front of him, his manhood bare in front of me. Just last night I knelt here like this, praying for God to send me a man to love me. Praying for true love and a first kiss. Not this…
He grabs a handful of my hair and pushes my face down into his lap. “Open your mouth,” he says, “suck on it.” I part my quivering lips and slide them over his massive cock. I take him into my mouth, my virgin lips sliding down his shaft. “Harder,” he groans. He grabs my head and slams it down onto his cock, gagging me. Startled I jump back. “Get back here,” he growls. I feel tears start to slide down my cheeks again as I crawl back to the bed. I kneel in front of him again and let him wrap his hands in my hair. He puts his dick back in my mouth and slams me down onto it again and again. I gag and the tears stream but he doesn’t stop. Suddenly he grabs my by both arms and pulls me up onto my feet. “Get your clothes off,” he orders as he begins to strip off his own. I stare at him, lying naked on my bed. I’m frozen, I cannot make my hands work. I glance at my reflection in the mirror, my hair is a mess, my face is red and splotchy, drenched in tears. With trembling fingers I undo the first button on my shirt, then the second. “Hurry up!” he yells.
My hands start shaking uncontrollably and he sighs and comes over to me. In one swift motion he rips my shirt open and tosses it to the ground. He unhooks my bra and lets it fall to my feet. Ashamed, I cover my face with my hands as his begins to undo my skirt. I feel it fall into a puddle around my feet. A sob escapes me when I feel his fingers slide beneath the elastic of my panties and yank them down.
He turns me around and bends me over, I put my hands out to brace myself, catching myself on my vanity. I’m staring directly at my face in the mirror. I can see him over my shoulder, reaching down between my legs. I feel the pressure, and then the pain. I try to squirm away but he firmly grasps my hips, ramming into me again and again as I try not to scream. The whole time I’m watching. I see his evil eyes on my naked body, I see my shameful tears. It seems forever until I feel him shudder behind me. His grip on my hips tightens and I cringe as he pushes himself further and further into me. And then it’s quiet. I watch his reflection disappear from my view, I can hear him getting dressed, but I don’t move. I hear my door open, and the front door, and then he’s gone. Shaking I finally stand up, I pull my clothes back on and do my best to straighten my hair. I walk down the steps to the door of my father’s study. I knock quietly. “Daddy,” I say, “I took care of it.”