Difference between a fuck and Love

I wondered if there is something wrong with me because Roger and I have been in a sexual relationship for up to 4 years but I have no emotional feelings about him. Roger is married to Wendy and I am uninterested in their life together nor do I want to be a part of Roger’s life. Our relationship is simply to have sex and as often and unrestricted on the clear understanding we are not in love and his love is for Wendy only.

I was previously married and my husband left me to shack up with an ex-pupil and it works for him. I believed at the time that I loved my husband and would have stayed married with him but Jane an ex-pupil was having a child and he chose to leave.

Roger worked as head of a department, very clever, tall and lean with beautiful eyes and was easy going. I was working on a project with him when we got chatting about life in our city. We were in his office and he offered me coffee and when he brought my cup over, I noticed he had a large plaster on the palm of his hand. When I took the cup from him, I let my finger touch his injured hand and asked what happened. 

He thanked me for noticing and for my dedication on the project which must be taking a lot of my time. It was then that I told him my husband had left me for a while and how I would do anything to keep distracted. He came to sit next to me with our knees touching and asked if I was ok and the kindness in his eyes made me ask if we can lock the door to his office.

If he had asked why I wanted the door lock, I would have lied about wanting to cry but instead he simply got up, open and check outside the door and then closed and turned the lock and he walked very casually to the window and pulled the blind down. He took off his tie and unbuttoned his shirt and came back to sit next to me.

I also then slowly took off my glasses, unzipped my dress and stepped out of it and placed it on the chair. He came close and said let’s move to the couch and he felt my breast and kissed me on the lips before kissing my neck and still he was squeezing my breast and nipples. I felt his huge cock and reached down with my hands and pulled it out and felt his cut penis and my fingers had his precum which I tasted. Roger then stood before me and offered me his cock which I kissed before closing my mouth on as much of his huge cock as I can manage. 

He then told me to lie down and with legs apart, I watched as he slipped into my warm cunt two of his fingers using his thumb to caress the lips to the opening. I pulled my bra down to offer my nipples to be sucked. Roger licked my fat nipples before burying his mouth and sucked on each of my nipples. I asked him to please peg me down with his cock. He obeyed and pushed all the way into my wet cunt and we began to fuck. I had not been fucked so well in a very long time and I felt all of my nerves tickle so knowing that I was having another orgasm. I found the strength to meet each pound from his cock with a push up and that brought us both to full orgasm and without him asking me he did not withdraw and his cum stayed inside me. 

We kissed and both dressed in silence and I thank him for listening and he told me he was here for me anytime. That was 4 years ago. We have continued to fuck even when the unthinkable happen and I had his baby. 

Friends were surprised when I got pregnant and I never gave them a hint as I realised that even a busy organisation that we both worked, having It as a secret made the fucking sweeter. It was guessed that it was for a married man but I did not comment. This was not for reason of shame or people’s judgement but because everyone around attached emotions to fucking but they did not see it as pleasure for its sake.

His wife came to meet me a few years later when she heard from ‘a concerned friend’ that her husband was having an affair. I tried to explain to her that I was not in love with her husband, nor wish to take him away. She could not see the fuck for what it was and that it had no emotional attachment. Why because I am single should I be condemned for life to a life without sex. Roger’s cock is simply a pleasure tool and he has been a friend willing to fuck as much as I wanted.

Roger has assured his wife, Wendy over the years that fucking me is something different from his love for her. I explained over coffee a few days ago to Wendy that she is safe knowing I don’t want him beyond what we do. She wanted me to write down for her why I like Roger’s cock but don’t love him. What is there to say other than he has a cock that I want not him.

Today, after enjoying a nice fuck with Roger, I decided to explain my situation before responding to her request. I may have to fuck him again soon to confirm my understanding of fucking for its sake.