Dangerous, but SO exciting. A new beginning.

After 10 years together, my wife left me about a year and a half ago because of something stupid that I did. I fought and fought for months trying to get her back. Even though there were problems, I loved her more than I had ever loved anyone. She filed for divorce and started seeing someone else.

We managed to work out the details so that I had the kids half the week. Since we lived only a few blocks apart, this worked well for our 3 kids. I still harbored a ton of anger and resentment, but I tried to accept my new lot in life and to let her go. I dated some other women, even had a girlfriend for a few months, but nobody measured up. Everyone has issues, or bratty children, or excessive baggage. I even dated a few who couldn’t kiss well. Sorry, if you can’t kiss, you gotta go.

Last week I called her from work. I needed to talk to her about an issue that had come up with our teenage son. Normally, it is a fight…a dance, if you will…just to be heard by this woman who had decided to seperate herself in all ways from me. She wants to be agressive and interrupt me, control the conversation, decide exactly when and where we will talk, etc. I fully expected it was going to be like this.

I told her there was an issue I would like to meet with her about. She asks what it is, I tell her I don’t want to do this over the phone. She surprises me by asking if I would like to take her to dinner that night! I hesitated for a second and said “7:30 work for you?” and she said “That’s great.”

I pick her up on time and she looked great! She had fixed up really well, and I held the car door open for her and we headed out. On the way to dinner I told her, “I am not about trying to get you back (A LIE, mostly to myself), but I want you to know that I really miss you.” To which she replied, “I have been looking for a way to say the same thing to you.”

We arrive at the restaurant, order a drink, and get so engrossed in conversation that we never even order dinner. Another round comes, and another, and soon, the walls come down a notch and the truth comes out. She is still seeing another man. I already knew this. It hurts to hear it, but I also find out that it is nothing serious. I ask her (in the way I could only ask a woman I was with for 10 years) if she would like to go home with me tonight. She replies, “Without question.” We finish the latest round, pay the tab, tip the waitress, and leave.

I drive to my house, and we go inside. We start stripping each other on the way down the hall, and when we get to the bedroom, share a long, deep kiss. When we disengage, she says, “I miss being married, I miss you.” and with that, she sits down on the bed and takes my cock in her mouth and begins deep throating me.

No way do I want to come like this. So in a few minutes, I pull out my dick, bend over to kiss her, and push her back onto the bed with my lips on hers. I lower my head to her breasts and spart licking and sucking the way I know she loves.

The nice thing about making love to a woman you have been with for so long is that you know how to push her buttons and twist her knobs like no one else. You know that she likes to have her ass penetrated a little by your finger while you trace the alphabet on her clit with your tongue. You know that even though she would let you come in her mouth, she appreciates it that you don’t. You know the spots that tickle her just enough to be erotic, but you also know to avoid the spots that tickle too much. This is how it was with us that night. I played her body like a master violinist with a perfectly tuned Stradivarius.
During this whole time, I was trying hard not to brain fuck myself. This is the woman who broke my heart. The woman who caused me to spend so many nights crying, sometimes throwing up. I have managed to move on with my life and find a way to be OK, and I cannot afford to hurt like that again. I have recovered from the depression that almost caused me to lose my job, and managed to succeed in almost every area of my life. Of course I want her back. I NEVER stopped carrying water for her. Does she want me back, or is she just horny? Will things go back to shitty after tonight? I tell myself to SHUT UP and just enjoy the moment.
After teasing each other to the point of near insanity, I enter her forcefully. We resume the ten year dance that was interrupted more than a year ago, and make passionate love for at least 40 minutes. Finally, I realize that she will not come because of the alcohol, and I ask her if she is ready to go to sleep. She tells me that would be wonderful, and we hold each other and drift to sleep for the first time in more than a year.
I wake her in time to take her home before our kids get up so that she can get them to school. An hour later, she calls and asks if she can come back. I have no appointments at work until 1PM, so I acquiesce. You gotta know that at this point, I am a little…no a lot…scared.
She tells me she is considering coming back to me. I tell her that I would be all over that, and that I have never stopped loving her. However, I told her that it would need to be a slow and careful process, and that I would rather not do that than to rush into something and fuck it all up.
She has not said that she wants to go any further, but she has asked me over for dinner almost every night this week. I asked her out on Saturday night, and she accepted. We had a great time, and I spent the night at her house so that I could be there when the kids woke up on Easter. When the kids asked if I could go to church with them at HER church, she told them “That sounds OK.” We attended church as a family, and she sat next to me in front of her parents, pastor, and friends.
Last night, I came over after work, at her invitation. She wasn’t feeling too good because she was about to start her period. I just kept her company and asked for nothing from her. When it was about bedtime, she told me her lower back was hurting. I offered to massage it, no strings attached. She acccepted, and got into her bed. I knew this was a chance to show her she was safe with me, and I didn’t make a single move on her. I gave her a great massage, and got up to leave. As I’m picking up my cell phone and keys in the semi-darkness, she says, “I will think of you tonight while I play with myself.”
DAMN! There’s an invitation if I ever heard one! I asked her, “Would you rather I take care of that for you?” To which she replies, “Yeah, I would.” So I shuck my shoes and pants and crawl into bed with her. She is still lying on her stomach, and wearing her pajama bottoms, so I start kissing, licking, and gently biting her back. After a short time of this, she turns over and I resume this activity on her breasts. When her hips start moving up on their own, I kiss her deep and passionately and ask, “What is this doing to your pussy?” “My pussy is yearning…and throbbing…and anticipating.”
I continue to drag this on and make her wait. At some point her pajama bottoms and my shirt come off, and I am fingering her pussy with 2 fingers curled up hitting her G-spot and a third halfway in her ass. She is getting close to coming, and I ask her, “How do you want to come?” She answers, “How do you want me to come?” I position my cock at the entrance to her pussy. With no hands, I enter her slowly, and we hold on to each other tightly as we both rock from the thrusts of my hips. I doesn’t get much better than this.
In less than a minute, she has a forceful and powerful orgasm. I sense that she has another in her, so I wait a second for the first to subside and start the rhythm again. In less than five minutes, she has another. Guess I was wrong, it COULD get better.
I tell her to straighten her leg, and I straddle it. With my cock still hard and inside of her, I take the other leg and flip it over me so that she is lying on her side with me straddling one leg and the other is drawn up against her
chest. We have always loved this position, because I
can penetrate her deeper than any other way, and that always gives me the best orgasm. I ask her if I can come inside of her, and she assents. I start with slow and deep strokes, and this turns into forceful pounding. I have her ass in one hand, and the leg against her chest in the other, and am using that for leverage. In a few minutes I feel the come start to rise in my balls, and I come inside of her for the first time in months and months. I lean over her ear and whisper, “I could die right now, and that would be just fine.” The joker in her says, “Don’t do that, this kids would blame me.” We share a laugh, get up and smoke together while sharing a Pepsi, and I go back to my house, my bed, and fall into a deep sleep.
So that was last night. I am at work now, a little distracted. I am happy, and trying hard not to push myself or her for too much. I just have to enjoy these moments as they happen. I know she is still seeing the other guy, but I know he is not doing her the way I am. It hurts to know she is still seeing him, but she is free….it is her decision. My only choice at this time is to take these moments, or to reject them. I am still in love with her. There is no choice.