for mitch….i would….part 1

i sat on the bed with a colt 45 to my head. getting ready to play my last game of russian roulette. i have no family they disowned me. every girl i been with just wanted between my legs. but i already knew i didn’t have much time left. i was diagoianesed with three heart mummurrs within tow months and two mytrovowelprolases.i wanted a wife and a family. i didn’t care about sex i survived without it. i wanted a girl in my life a real girl.as i was about to pull the trigger i heard a noise and then my finger squeezed by reaction. click that barrel was empty.i took it and spinned as your supposed to.as i was about to pull the trigger again the phone rang and i answered it was my homie dutch eyes. she said hey get on the net we need to chat. i told her no but she would not take that for answer. so i was alright bitch it better be good.i got on the lez chat line and the i was well known there as soon as my screen name was on the scroll the huney’s starting iming, me. then this girl i never talked to popped and we started chatting she wasn’t hoish or boring like the other girls. i had a voice inside me see there’s hope for you after all. we chatted into the night. i didn’t even have a clue wat she looked like but to me her personality was the beatuy.when i logged out it was 8am. i was like damn this girl is good she got me to chat with her that long.everyday we chatted. finally for the first time in years i asked a girl to be my girl once again.she said yes. well shit went down with my gang and we lost connect for a month. wat was dutch eyes set up a arranged engagement.so i had no choice but my heart long for michelle. i drove around for a day when i knew i had to tell her. but i was in love with michelle i already told her and she was in love with me.but i sent her the email that tore our worlds apart and made me cry.i became homeless within weeks. cuz i stopped caring. i stayed at my so called friends house and woke up with a knife to my throat. cause the father found out i was lez..i looked him in the eye and said kill me if you wish. but he let me go and to get the hell out are he would. so i moved in with another friends family and same shit but with a death note. when my so called finaccce found out she made arrangements for me to stay with her paernts. so i took it. i knew i would be safe there.so i got there all this time i thought of my lovley mitch and how i wanted to holld her even though i never saw her yet. so i got on the net. the day i got there. and imed mitch she was hurt but i explained. i broke off the aranged engagement and marriage. so mitch and i was back together. we talked a hell of alot more for the first time i saw her and she saw me on web cam. she was extremely beatiful maybe cause she’s from new york. who cares she was the love of my life. i wanted to stare at her forever.but i still in da gang. i know if i ever wanted to be able to father mitch’s and mine’s childern properly i had to get out. eveyone knew something was up with me. i was in love she was all i talked about.but the biggest surpise…… to be contuied.